I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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