and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
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One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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