Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
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