This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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