That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Randomize
