We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize