I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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