would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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