don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
