It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
