You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
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