You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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