Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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