Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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