dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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