I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
