the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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