What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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