If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
