she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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