break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
