he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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