just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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