This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
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