Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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