It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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