Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
