you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Come on in and take your pants off
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