VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
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i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
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Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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