Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
