she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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