And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
He shit in the fireplace
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize