it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
