I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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