Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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