I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
