This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
