I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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