i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
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