I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
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oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
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