I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
He called his prostate his "boner button".
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
my liver is dry heaving
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
