Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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