Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
