whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
