Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
The dick lei will go down in squad history
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
