I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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