Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
