umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
