i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
