im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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