Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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