I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
You ruined the universe
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
