i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize