I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
