I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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