I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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