im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
