I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize