You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
