Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
