Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Randomize
