I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
You made out with two different species that night
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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