It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
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Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
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