He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
